Sunday To Sunday Attentive Heart

Hi, this is Ann Mary Mullane of Sunday to Sunday Productions with another episode of The Witness Podcast.

I opened the 2023 podcast posing the question of living a productive versus a fruitful life. I hit a nerve. Listeners wanted to hear more. It got me thinking that the idea of productive versus fruitful might be a running discussion. So let's consider this episode 1 of the personal perspective that I'm developing.

I did a quick internet search about what is a fruitful life. It yielded predictable results. Things like: “plant a garden” and “pray for God's guidance”. Wasn't exactly helpful at this time. I think what I'm looking for is a life with more breath. Life is a shapeshifter because we want different things at different times.

Particularly as women our lives address a greater web of existence. We care for family, immediate and extended. We nurture, we guide, and we inspire others, often neglecting ourselves. This selflessness is rewarded with laudable lip service. It never answers the question of where or how the one who is responsible for all the inspiration gets inspired themselves.

About a decade ago, I read the book, “The Pull of the Moon” by Elizabeth Berg. The novel is a quick light read. When I looked up the book on Amazon, I noticed that it got some angry reviews. The protagonist was considered by many as a privileged whiner. Could it be, there is a human tendency to negate something that may require an unfamiliar action?

The protagonist, a woman, takes a cross-country trip. Her husband and children stayed at home. To be clear, they weren't invited on this trip. She wasn't mad. Things were going fine in her life, but everything seemed flat and dull. Yet she calls home each evening to remind her family to do certain tasks.

What evening the garbage needed to go to the curb, which sweaters needed to be hand washed, and what meals were in the freezer? As a wife and mother, I know that these were necessary calls if the task had any hope of being accomplished. There's a moment-by-moment mental calendar monitoring that women seem to slip into.

But the incident in the story that really struck me was when our protagonist goes into the restaurant. She mentally noted the favorite meal item of everyone in her family, but she didn't know her own favorite. It hit an uncomfortable cord with me. Now I understood the negative reviews. It's hard to admit that there's no virtue in being that selfless.

It's the moment of realization that you are being pleasantly suffocated. So I'm posing the question: Describe the last good time you had. I don't mean the fun party you planned for the kids' birthday. When was the last time that you felt that you had something to contribute to a conversation? Something of your own.

What incident or event had you humming happily in your head? Perhaps it was a movie that stuck in your head and made you think about it days later. Perhaps you pushed yourself to go and step out and do something brand new. I'm purposely avoiding the use of the word ‘dream’. Although we may get to that later. I believe in living with my feet on the ground and taking action. I believe in action. Forward motion. Progress. Aha. There it is, progress. I think we are happiest when we feel we are moving because it feels like progress. I think we need to try living without getting caught up in that checklist, especially if that list is not of our own making. Somehow even the value of our own service to others finds its way onto a checklist of merely feeling productive and not feeding your soul.

Developing good friends makes our lives more comfortable, but it also makes our lives more predictable. Helping my grandchildren study for a science test, I was reminded that the nucleus of a cell is supposed to disassemble and then reform itself each time most of the cells divide. This put a spring word in my head, blossom.

We are meant to like a flower, open up and let new ideas in. I think the answer comes from digging deeper. It comes from asking the question, “What am I willing to fail at?” It's not about either being productive or being fruitful. It's about making progress and moving forward. Now, as I said in the beginning, I’m developing this theory on the fly, so to speak.

So let's discuss. Please email me at annmary@sundaytosunday.com. That's Ann Mary, A-N-N-M-A-R-Y @sundaytosunday.com.

Thank you. This is Ann Mary Mullane for Sunday to Sunday Witness from Kearney, New Jersey. Please subscribe to Sunday to Sunday and tell your friends about us. Check out our full website and other free resources at sundaytosunday.net. Thank you, and we'll see you next time.